


The Cup

by supasafeboss



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-13 10:09:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17486183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supasafeboss/pseuds/supasafeboss
Summary: Even Humanity's Strongest likes to keep mementos.





	1. Chapter 1

He remembers his childhood as points in time with large gaps in between. He never noticed until Izzy and Farlan tried to compare the similarities in their upbringing, but his mind draws a blank repeatedly. Hange told him once it was the result of a traumatic childhood. He believed them since he did not know any better, but it made sense.

One of the few events he remembered is startling detail was a cold, winter day when he was much younger. He wakes up to a feast by Underground standards, a thin slice of meat and a bread roll. He savors it slowly because, even at his young age, he knows it should be. He shares with his mother, offering her a bite in between his own. Her’s are always smaller than his own, but she thanks him once the meal is gone. For the first time in a long time, his belly is satisfied with the meal and he does not expect much more.

His mother leans forward and reaches for something out of his sight. She brings up a small package wrapped in crumpled paper. She very gently places the item into his hands.

“Happy Birthday, baby.”

He does not remember his reaction or if he was excited or shocked. He does remember opening it slowly and revealing the contents inside. 

A teacup. A delicate, porcelain thing with blue figures painted and glazed on its surface. Birds in flight. Blooming flowers. Small trios of dots to occupy the empty spaces in between. The rim had a single chip in it close to the handle. The handle itself had a characteristic dark line with extra lacquer painted on to complete a repair.

It was perfect.

“I had one of the men fix the handle for me. You can’t use the handle to drink, but you can hold the rim if you are careful.” She leans close and ducks down a smidge to see his eyes behind his dark fringe. “Do you…do you like it?”

He startles her when he leaps up and hugs her tight around her neck, his cup clutched in his hand. She recovered quick and wraps her own arms around his small waist. “Thank you, Mama.”

They pull away and she swipes at her eyes before he can see them. He notices anyways. “Let’s make a pot and try it out, shall we? I snuck some honey from the kitchen for your special day.”

Even in his scattered memories, he still remembers it as the best cup of tea he ever had.  


…

  
She had been sick. For days. Maybe even weeks. He makes her thin soup and tea in his cup which she drinks very carefully. As the illness progresses, it is just water he presses desperately to her cracked lips. She starts to cough violently and she lurches to the side to be sick. It startles him so bad he drops the cup. It drops in slow motion to the filthy floor besides the bed. He swears he remembers the way the cracks spread through the white enamel when it landed before breaking apart completely.

He drops to his knees and picks up the pieces, trying to fit them back together. The splinters cut into his skin and the thin lines start to bubble red. 

“I’m sorry…I’m sorry...I didn’t mean…” he sniffs as he recovers the china, using his nails to pick up the tiniest slivers. His mother does not respond, too busy hacking into a stained handkerchief and wheezing around the clogging in her lungs. 

He collects the parts into a sheet of paper and crumbles the ends together in a ball. He stands and sits back down in the bed just as she rolls back into position. Her chest heaves with effort and he can’t look up when he presents the package to her.

“I broke it, mama. I’m…sorry,” he is in tears before he can finish the sentence. Looking back, he knows he wasn’t apologizing for the cup. He was apologizing…for everything.

She lifts her arm up and he takes her silent invitation to curl up next to her. He cradles the tinging package between them almost afraid that if he let it go, she would go with it.

The next morning, her chest stops heaving, her coughing ceases. Her arm is stiff and skin cool to the touch.

She won’t wake up.  


…

The balled up package is the single thing he takes with him with Kenny collects him many days later. After feeding him in a seedy tavern, Kenny takes him to an inn and strips him bear to wash the ‘whorehouse’ off of him. That is when he discovers the package.

“Sorry, kid. Nothing from that place will stay with us. No telling what is on it.” He wrenches it out of Levi’s hands.

Kenny is taken off guard when Levi launches at him, still small, still starving, but motivated by something more. He literally climbs the man’s trench coat and scratches for the item. Kenny uses his hand to push him off so he lands hard enough to make him ache later.

Kenny tears open the paper and sneers at its contents. He rears his hand back to throw it against the wall, but something stops him. He pauses for only a second before he drops his hand and gives a tired sigh. 

“I get it, kid. She loved her tea. Let’s just…” he looks around the room and something catches his eyes in the upper shelves. He walks to it and recovers an old wooden cigar box. He dumps its dusty contents and drops the cup’s remains into it, none too gently. He kneels to shove the box into Levi’s hollow chest.

“If I see it again, I’ll throw it out. You have to keep up with it. I don’t give a shit if we leave it so don’t come crying when that happens.”

Levi gives a single nod and cradles it to his chest.

Kenny stands again. “Now, com’on. Yer not staying with me with that filth on ya.”

It was one of the few times they agreed on something.

…

It survives after Kenny abandons him, but barely. It survives his rise through the ranks of the Underground. It even makes it through his capture and forced enrollment into the Survey Corps. It survives because he protects it and makes sure no one else handles it.

He snatches it out of Erwin’s hands when they pack up his belongings to transfer him to his new barracks after the expedition that claims Izzy’s and Farlan’s lives. He buries a sneer and gives his ex-mark and new squad leader an unimpressed look. 

Erwin simply responds by putting his hands up in a non-threatening gesture and backs away. 

He does not ask and Levi does not tell.

…

He knows he has lost it forever when Shingashina and Wall Maria falls. 

His squad is assigned to protect the citizens at the evacuation point and eliminate any threats. Half way through the evacuation, he runs out of gas. It takes an hour for resupplies to arrive. He watches and listens as men, women, and children are snatched mid-run and tossed down the gaping titan gullets. When he is refueled, he is successful in his vengeance.

They see the last boat off and they recover their already battle-weary horses to make the journey to Wall Rose. Once again, they split up to warn the villages in the path of the titans. They push the villagers out of their homes and hold back any titan attack to give them time to evacuate. 

The established squads were in tatters before they had even reached Maria. Now, they barely resemble any sort of military structure. Levi is adopted as a leader with the ranking officers missing. He orders the carts empty of the dead Survey Corps soldiers to make room for the elderly and children. He makes the villagers drop their possessions to quicken their pace. He even punches a greedy merchant that slows their progress with his over leaden wagon that costs one of his solders her life. The man falls in line and no one questions the unofficial squad leader again.

The group is exhausted, filthy, and three-quarters of its number by the time they reach Rose. He is grateful to see the Garrison troops in their gear to defend the evacuees as they limped through the gate. Levi drops the group and his horse off to the Garrison division before heading to the closest military outpost.

He finds the still official Commander, Keith Shadis standing in a small circle of dirty and tired Survey Corps soldiers. Mike looks relived to see him and gives his shoulder a squeeze when he passes. Shadis nods his greeting and gets straight to the point. “Report, soldier.”

Levi is too tired to fight and defaults to protocol. “36 survivors, 10 Survey Corps soldiers. We evacuated the village of Strafford. The ones that made are all that are left.”

Shadis’ lips press into an even thinner line than before, the scribe next to him scribbling away at a ledger. “Any ranking officers with you?”

“No.”

His eyes darted away for a second before landing back on him. “Have you seen Squad Leader Smith during the evacuation?”

Levi’s gut twisted. He had hoped to find Erwin here, leading the command under Shadis. He spares a glance at Mike. Mike closes his eyes and shakes his head gently. Levi schools his face when he faces Shadis again. “No, sir.”

Shadis is less reserved with his reaction. “FUCK!” he yells as he hammers his fist onto the table. He leans forward so his head is cradled in his fore arms. "Fuck!”

His soldiers stay quiet at his breakdown, unfortunately used to his type of reaction. Levi does not have time or patience for it. Erwin wouldn’t do this. Erwin would have a plan. Erwin would know what to do. He wouldn’t give in to panic and despair. He turns on his heels without being dismissed and leaves the room.

He registers the footsteps following him but does not slow down. Mike appears to his left.

“Where did you last see him?” Levi asks.

“He gave me a small group to command to the east of Shingashina. He said he was heading back to headquarters and heading up the resupply groups and weapon deployment.” Mike answers. “You?”

“He told me to protect the evacuees. I haven’t seen him since.” Levi was barely aware of Mike diverting him to the what appeared to be a temporary Survey Corps base. Several solders were there, and they visibly reacted when the humanity’s two strongest soldiers walked through the camp. The duo ignored them as they traveled to the makeshift barracks. 

“Erwin is smart.” Mike reassures.

“I know he is.”

“If anyone can make it, he can.” He echos again.

“Intelligence does nothing for you when you run out of gas and blades.” Levi counters.

Mike chooses to ignore the comment. “You can clean up there.” He points to a cluster of partitions next to a hand pump. “I’ll being you something to wear. You can rest in the tents when you are done.”

“Like hell. I’m heading back out.”

With that, Mike grabs his forearm to halt him. Levi reacts with a counterpunch aimed for the face, but Mike catches it easily. They glare at each other.

“If you weren’t exhausted, I never would have caught that.” 

Levi pulls for his arm, but Mike holds fast.

“You need to rest. You are no good to anyone like this. If you go back out, you will be killed.”

Levi wants to disagree, but his legs were starting to shake. 

Mike’s eyes soften. “Please Levi. Don’t make me order you.”

“You can’t order me around.”

“Technically, I can. But I don’t want to. I know you only listen to him.”

That makes his chest ache. He uses the last of his strength to yank his limbs free. He does not give Mike the satisfaction of seeing his face when he turns away. “Fine.”

Mike stays silent as he retreats and he leaves small bundle of clothing for him outside of his stall as promised. The shirt is too big and the pants are so long he has to cuff them twice. He considers washing his uniform, but exhaustion and gravity keeps pulling him down until his slouches where he stands.

He makes his way to the barracks and he recognizes some familiar faces, including Hange. He finds an empty cot and barely pulls the cover over himself when he closes his eyes to sleep. It is a dreamless sleep, but he sees small flashes in his subconscious. Those of raven hair, blue eyes, and a broken cup.

…

It takes two days for the last of the survivors to arrive to Wall Rose. A group of 50 civilians from 4 different villages escorted by 7 Survey Corps and Garrison soldiers. Levi stands to the side, perched higher than the rest, desperately searching the crowd for a head of blonde hair or someone taller than the rest. He waits until they pass him fully before he gives up. He rushes to the temporary Survey Corps headquarters and makes a straight line for Shadis’ office.

Once he sees Erwin, he realizes why he did not find him in the group before. His blonde hair is completely matted with mud and dried blood. Half of his face is covered in cracking brown that makes his eyes stand out more than they normally do. Despite the filth, Levi can recognize the relief that flashes across his face when they finally see each other.

Levi fights the need to embrace Erwin by clenching his hands at his sides and gives him a nod. Erwin nods back and turns back to Shadis to point out the villages his squad had evacuated and give his debrief. The scribe is working in a hurry as Erwin relays the information. Levi stays put listening to the story.

Erwin develops a squad of 30 soldiers between the Survey Corps and Garrison. They target four far reaching villages to the East. They lose all but 7, but recover around 60% of the civilians to make it to Wall Rose. Considered a success by any measure, but Levi can see and hear and guilt in Erwin’s voice as the numbers are tallied. 

“5 Survey Corps soldiers. 2 Garrison. 10 men.”

The quill scratches.

“25 women.”

More scratching.

“40 chi…no…15 children.”

The quill pauses for a moment. Then writes again.

“We…lost a wagon…” His voice drifts at the end. The note is recorded.

…

He shakes.

He clenches his hands and his muscles tense to try to stop it, but his limbs continue to tremble. 

“I tried.” He tells Levi, his hands clenching and unclenching where they rest on his knees. 

“I know.”

“I thought we could make it. I really did.”

Levi grasps his rattling hands with his own. “I know.”

Erwin grows silent, his eyes staring at the space between Levi’s legs where he sits across from him. His face shows how lost he feels and it is un-nerving that the familiar determination is missing.

“You need to rest. We can’t do anything until you do.” Echoing Mike’s words from two days prior.

Erwin’s head just droops in a bare resemblance of a nod. Levi holds his hands as they both stand and he steps close to allow the taller man to embrace him. Nearly his full weight is on Levi, but he holds them both steady. He walks them to the bed where they land with the grace of a sack of potatoes. Levi adjusts Erwin into the bed. He starts to walk away, but Erwin stops him.

“Levi…my bag. You need to get my bag.”

Levi let out an exasperated sigh. “You need to rest. The paperwork can wait.”

“No, I need my bag.” He rolls over enough to look at him. “Please, Levi.”

Levi could never ignore when Erwin begs, especially not in this state. He does not even make a sound when he walks to the other side of the room and recovers Erwin’s property, still in tatters and stained. When he places it on the bed, Erwin is already sitting up. His hands are still shaking so Levi unties it for him.

Inside, is not what he expected to see.

The wooden cigar box. _His_ wooden cigar box. The one never thought he’s see again. And it is right here in front of him.

“Erwin…”

“I grabbed it when I went back to headquarters. I know it is important to you. I apologize for handling it.” Erwin sits up so he his resting his arms on his knees. “I hope its contents are okay.”

Levi opens the box slowly. The shattered cup is still there, in a couple more pieces, but it is there. But it not alone. There is another item in there. Something wrapped carefully in a handkerchief. It was not there before.

Levi picks up the item and examines it in his hands. “This is yours?”

“Yes,” Erwin says quietly.

He holds it out to Erwin who shakes his head. Levi holds it like it is precious in both of his hands. “May I?”

Erwin gives him a small nod as permission.

He unfolds the handkerchief slowly to reveal a pair of wired framed glasses with round lenses. One of the lenses is broken, radiating from one of the sides. 

“They belonged to my father. It is the only thing I have left of him.”

Levi holds the glasses by the temples and rotates it slowly so the light catches the cracks. 

“I apologize for opening the box without your permission, Levi. I know how you protect it.”

He breaks out of his reverie and carefully wraps the spectacles back into the handkerchief. “It’s alright.” He nestles it back in the box with his cup and closes it again. “Thank you for bringing it back to me.”

Erwin blinks awake and nods again.

“You didn’t have to.”

Erwin turns his head and gives him a very, very tired smile. “Of course I did.” He is leaning heavily on his arms and his head bobs as he starts to doze.

Levi stands to place the box on the nearby table and uses his finger to push Erwin over into bed. Erwin flops over and turns so he is facing the wall, taking the covers with him. Levi considers sleeping in the nearby chair but decides against it. He has spent too long anxious about Erwin’s whereabouts to put any distance between the two of them for tonight. Rumors be damned.

Levi lays down and spoons behind the larger man. His palm rests on the his rising back as the rhythm becomes soft and steady. He allows it to soothe him into a relaxed state and he starts to drift.

“Levi…”

“Hmm?”

“I hope one day…” He drifts and snorts when he comes back. It makes Levi smile. “I hope you will trust me enough to tell me about your cup.”

Levi rests his forehead against Erwin’s back and presses his lips between his shoulder blades. “Later.”

“Promise?”

He turns his head so his ear can catch the heart beating. “I promise.”

“Good.” Erwin slurs.

It only takes moments to both to sink into a deserved rest. When Erwin twitches and lurches upright, Levi pulls him back down and holds him. He comforts Erwin as he splinters and breaks apart in his arms.

…

Later is measured in months verses days. Evacuations continue. Resettlement fails. The systematic execution of the “less desirable” Maria citizen occurs with the Survey Corps escorting the doomed mission beyond the walls. Stories of memories and mementos were not priority and the promise laid dormant.

It is after a year when life settles into a frantic but predicable cycle. Prepare for expedition. Execute expedition. Handle the casualties and losses. Beg for new funding. Train new recruits. Prepare for expedition. Etcetera, etcetera. 

It takes a harsh winter to spoil and ultimately cancel their last expedition. It causes the Survey Corps to experience a strange limbo: when the priorities suddenly stop and one is left to question if they are forgetting something because it is impossible that they would have any time to themselves.

Erwin decides to allow the troops time off for the winter solstice. Many with families take advantage and high tail it out of base as soon as they were packed. Mike even left to see his mother and younger siblings for the holiday. He promised to bring back some tobacco grown on the family farm since he was sure he would be put to work as soon as he walked beyond the fence line.

The troops that were left were like Erwin and Levi. No family to visit. No sweethearts to swoon over. Their existence were intertwined with their occupation. Those troops stayed on base, but did enjoy the furlough in uniform requirements. They dressed in civilian clothing and it frankly surprised Levi how different they looked out of uniform.

They wear their warmest civilian clothing when they decide to take a break from the base. The pace is leisurely as they carefully avoid the crowded holiday markets and eventually finding the green space that runs along the canal. There, movement slows to a crawl and the conservation becomes more hushed and careful.

They discuss upcoming plans, politics and future expeditions. Erwin runs his theories across Levi who always gives a honest answer. Levi can’t help but feel a little pride that Erwin trusts him with such things.

Soon they run out of their typical topics and walk in a comfortable silence. The water sloshes gently against the canal wall from a passing boat and it is soothing to hear something other than crowds, the hiss of the ODM gear or the groans of titans. Present company does not hurt as well.

Erwin clears his throat which gains Levi’s attention. Erwin gives him a quick glance from the side of his eye before speaking. “You never told me about your cup.”

Levi thinks back and does not remember ever mentioning it again after that day.

“You don’t have to share if you changed your mind. We weren’t exactly in the right mind set when we spoke about it last.”

“No, I promised. Just give me a moment.”

Erwin turns back to their walk. “Take your time.”

Levi ponders how to tell Erwin. Considers how deep he should go. He could lay everything on the table. He does not trust anyone like he trusts Erwin. But he feels a little silly for holding on to such a thing. He should have tossed it long ago. Keeping it put Erwin as risk to collect a useless cup. Despite how shameful he felt for being this selfish, he still could not let it go. Not now. Not when Erwin went out of his way to bring it back to him. Might as well punch him in the nose if he threw it out now.

“It was a present. From my mom.” He starts and he can already feel the weight pressing down onto his shoulders. He wraps his coat tighter around him and tucks his in ears down into the upturned collar. He takes a large inhale before beginning again. “She gave it to me the birthday before she passed.” Levi does not look at Erwin, but he can feel the man’s eyes on him. “I broke it when she was sick. She…died that evening.”

“I’m sorry, Levi.” Erwin mummers.

Levi takes a deep breath. “I kept it because she gave it to me. And I broke it. Then she…left.” He pauses and allows the sounds of their footsteps to calm his heart. Erwin keeps a respectful silence the whole time. “I felt like if I could just fix it, then maybe she would come back.” He gives a small laugh to clear the obstruction in his throat. “I was so stupid, but I never could throw it out. So, I kept it.”

Erwin seems to ponder his confession. The lull the conversation makes him anxious and he back tracks. “It’s stupid, I know. I…”

“It’s far from stupid, Levi.” Erwin states, his eyes still forward. “When you lose someone so important to you, it is not unusual to keep something physical to remind you of them. Especially if you lose them when you are young.” He spares a glance Levi’s way. “It helps to be able to hold something just to know they existed.”

“Even if it is broken?”

“Even if it is broken.” Erwin confirms. “Don’t think it as being silly if you keep something to remind you of your mother. You are not the only one who keeps seemingly useless things for sentimental value only.”

Erwin’s statement triggers a reminder for Levi. “Like your glasses?”

Erwin’s eyes widen for just a moment before he closes them with a small, sad smile on his lips. “Yes, just like my glasses.” 

Levi stops walking and Erwin follows suit two steps later. “Tell me about them.” Levi requests.

A small smile plays on his lips and he quirks his head to the side. “Alright.” He agrees before walking again. Levi jogs a few steps to catch up and Erwin slows so they can both keep the same pace.

“You already know they belonged to my father.”

“Yes.”

“After he passed, I no other known family so I was sent to an orphanage until I joined the military. The soldiers that came to collect me only gave me the choice to bring one bag. I couldn’t bring his books or any of the large items, so I kept his glasses. That is all I have left of him.”

“Same thing happened to me.” Levi thinks back to Kenny and how often they had to leave in the middle of the night due to them being discovered or having a bounty placed on his head. Small items were easier for travel.

“He was a teacher. He spent a lot of time bent over books and in dimmed light so the lenses just got thicker and thicker as I got older. He was the type of person who could not see a thing without them, you see.” He had a wistful look on his face. It was so affectionate that it made the corners of Levi’s twitch in response. “He would walk into every table and I swear he broke multiple toes when he misplaced them. I would spend hours trying to find them for him only to see that they were perched on his head. It was infuriating really.” He chuckled at the memory.

Then the ends of his lips started to droop and it turned into a scowl. His eyes dropped to watch his own feet walk. He spoke softly so Levi moved close enough so that their arms were touching just to hear him. 

“He was wearing them when we were attacked. Home invaders. They hit him across the face and they fell off. The culprits, they did not know I was there, so they took him and left me behind.”

“Why?”

He continued like Levi never asked the question. His eyes were focused on the distance, on something only he could see. “He told me when I was younger that if I ever got lost, just stay in one spot and he would find me. I was so confused and terrified, I…I stayed and waited for him to come home.” Erwin’s left hand come up and grasps at his right bicep, fingers curling into the muscle. His jaw works as he swallows hard, glaring at his toes. 

Erwin does not finish his story. 

Levi recognizes an open wound when he sees one.

…

Eventually, their walk takes them back to base. Levi sticks close to Erwin’s side until they are both inside Erwin’s office. Erwin sits down heavily onto the floor in front of the fireplace and rakes his hands through his cold hair. Levi stokes the embers into a proper fire. The warmth seeps into his bones and he starts to feel more human and less like an icicle.

He makes a pot of tea and he hears Erwin shuffling closer to the fire. Erwin could not help but inch closer to the flames, seeking desperately needed warmth, hands held in front as the ice is thawed from his fingertips.

Once the pot simmers, recovers two mismatched teacups. He allows the tea to brew to his specifications before pouring them both a cup. He add too much sugar to Erwin’s cup and holds it out with his normal clawed grip. 

Erwin accepts it with a small smile that does not reach his eyes. He cradles it for warmth as Levi wraps a blanket over his shoulders. Levi grabs his own and joins Erwin in front of the fire. He does not push, but presses into Erwin’s side as a sign of support. 

They finish the pot together before Erwin speaks again. 

“I’m so sorry, Levi.”

“Shut up.”

“I lied to you.”

“How?”

“I lied to you. About my father. I don’t want to lie.” He looks down at Levi, his eyes betraying his sorrow. Levi can’t help but place a cooling hand on Erwin’s cheek, relishing when Erwin leans into it. “Not to you. Never to you.” He swallows and uses the heel of his hand to swipe at his eye. “Levi, I…”

“Let’s lay down.” Levi cuts in. His hands burn where he holds Erwin’s cheeks. “Lay down with me and tell me everything.”

Blue eyes drift to the bed and focuses back on Levi. He gives a slight nod before he is pulled to a wobbling standing position. They make it to the bed and Levi helps him remove his shoes and clothing down to his underwear, leaving Erwin shifting deeper into the bed. Levi crawls in and makes a show of covering both of them in layers of blankets. They lay on their sides facing each other. 

“I told you my father was a teacher. I lied when I said they were common home invaders. We were not chosen randomly. They came after my father for a reason. Because of something…I did.” His voice cracks a little. He sounds like a distressed child and is shocks Levi to hear it. It felt so raw…like it happened just yesterday or a few hours ago. 

Levi can’t control his limbs when he reaches out and touches Erwin’s chest, like his hands can reach into that hollowness to pull Erwin back out into the light.

“One day, we were learning the history of the walls…” 

…

_A year later…_

“Levi.”

Levi turns from cleaning the last of the pots from the holiday dinner and face Erwin. Erwin is holding a box in his hand and shifting from foot to foot in a very uncharacteristic way unbecoming of a commander. 

“You okay?” Levi pulls his handkerchief down from his mouth and frowns. “Gotta take a shit?”

Erwin huffs a laugh. “No, I am just a little anxious that’s all.”

Levi rinses the last pot completely and uses a towel to dry off his hands. “About what?”

Erwin presses the box forward so it taps into Levi’s chest. “Happy birthday, darling.”

Levi pulls a face from the pet name even though it makes him melt on the inside just a little. “I told you that I do not need anything.” He did not make a move to take the box from Erwin.

“I know, but I can’t ignore your birthday even if I tried. Which I did try.” Erwin presses it a little more which forces Levi to finally take it from him.

Levi smirks at the towering persona in front of him in all of its anxious glory. He places the box on the nearby table and takes a good look at it. It is a very nice box with beautiful inlays in the shape of a star on the lid. And it was not a little box. Even if it was empty, the box itself is a very nice present. Of course, knowing Erwin, it is not empty.

Levi looks over his shoulder to find Erwin with his fist pressed against his lips with the other crossed in front of his chest. His eyes were darting between Levi and the box intently.  
He practically rolls his eyes at the display. “Fine. Since you look like you’re going to piss yourself right here.”

The fist leaves his lips and crosses his chest to squeeze his own forearm. “Sorry, Levi.”

Levi unlatches the lid and opens the box. The inside is lined in a blue velvet. It is nestling three porcelain items: a teapot and three tea cups with matching saucers. It is a lovely set on its own, but as Levi looks closer it becomes even more. 

The teapot has blue glazed flowers, birds and trios of dots in a very, very similar pattern to a certain cup. The teacups match it exactly. But one of them is different. In long jagged lines in a random pattern, the ceramic is joined together in what appears to be gold. He leans forward to look at the golden lined teacup and finds scars and chips that it collected over the years in the wooden cigar box. _His_ wooden cigar box.

“Is that…?” he starts in an astonished voice. 

“Yes.”

He picks up the cup and it keeps it’s shape for the first time in decades. He is once again holding the cup his mother had given him so many years ago. He turns it in his fingers delicately because it feels so solid, but he is terrified that it will shatter in his hands again.

“How?”

“I had an artisan repair it using an old technique. It uses a gold powder lacquer to fuse the pieces together. The old theory is that it makes it more beautiful by celebrating it imperfections and blemishes. I did not want to erase them since they are…they are part of your story.” Erwin rushed his explanation at first, but he started to hesitate at the end. His eyes were searching.

Levi recognizes the little chips around the rims and the large pools of gold where the gaps could not be completed with the porcelain. Then he spies the crack on the handle, now filled with a line of gold and he knows.

“Levi?”

Levi tears his eyes away from the cup and finally notices Erwin standing right next to him. Erwin swallows almost audibly. 

“Do you…like it?”

Levi has no words. How could he? Erwin, who does the impossible every day, did not something completely impossible in Levi’s mind. He gave him something back. 

He gave him his mother back. 

Levi places the cup delicately back into the case. He did not give any warning before wrapping his arms completing around Erwin’s chest. It startles the taller man, but he embraces Levi just as tightly just a moment later. Levi feels the heat behind his eyes and he buries his face into the cotton of Erwin’s button down to hide them. He just holds Erwin as close as he can, trying to convey the thankfulness he feels for the gift. Erwin does not push him away, but simply holds him just a tight. It feels…right.

He finally pushes away and wipes his cheeks with his sleeve. “Fuck!”

“You never answered my question.”

“What question?”

Erwin gives him a small smile and he looks much more relaxed. “Do you like my gift?”

“Seriously? Of course, I like it!” Levi presses his hands against his cheeks and hides his eyes when they start to water again. “Asshole…making me…do THIS!” He points at his face before hiding it again.

“Apologies.”

“Liar.”

Erwin huffs a quiet laugh. He leans down and places a soft kiss to Levi’s forehead. “Happy Birthday, Love.”

He leans away but Levi catches him by the bolo tie before he can get away. He pulls the commander into a proper kiss that has him clutching at the blonde’s face with both hands. They separate with a smack and Erwin’s hair is mussed just right to make him look more human and boyish. 

“Thank you, Erwin.” He places a soft kiss to Erwin’s lips once again.

Erwin practically purrs when he hums against his lips. “Make us a cup?”

“Absolutely.”

…

When he returned from Shingashina, he barely cleans up before he wanders into his office. He takes the wooden box with the star inlay from his shelve and transports it to his desk. Levi opens the box to reveal its contents: A gold infused teacup, a pair of wire rimmed glasses and 4 Survey Corps patches. 

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a bolo tie with a green stone in the center. The leather is worn and fraying at some of the braids. Those imperfections are important. It reminds Levi that it was real. That Erwin was real.

He places the bolo tie into the golden cup: originally from his mother and then resurrected by Erwin. He circles the bottom of the cup with the leather until it pools into its shape with the stone resting on top. When he leans back, there is a strange comfort to the image – the two most important people in his world represented in one place.

He places the cup at the seat opposite of him – Erwin’s seat. Levi makes a pot of tea and pours its contents into the unblemished, matching cup. He stills for a moment and stares at the golden cup with the green stone nestled inside. He closes his eyes for a moment and sees Erwin sitting across from him once more. His golden hair reflecting the breaking sunlight in the morning as they enjoyed a quiet breakfast and he read over the morning reports. He swears he can hear the quiet chuckle over something lewd that Levi said. The whole time gently cupping his teacup in a variation of Levi’s unusual clawed grip. 

When he opens his eyes, Erwin is not there. It makes him ache. He clears the obstruction from his throat. He tells Erwin everything. The basement. The notebooks. The threat outside the walls.

“You were right,” he says. 

The trees outside rustle gently.

“You were right about everything.”

A bird chirps somewhere. The sun glints against the glaze of the cup and emerald stone. Levi closes his eyes again. Erwin is there again, his eyes gentle and so full of fondness for Levi, that it makes his chest seize.

He opens his eyes again and reaches across the table to pulls the cup closer to himself. He cradles it to his chest, the tinging sound echoing inside the cup as the stone moves. 

For the first time since Levi made his choice, he breaks.


	2. Epilogue

Levi has just moved to a new city on the East coast. His first adult job and adult apartment of his own. No roommates to ruin his precious few belongings. Now was the time to purchase a few luxuries he has been eyeing for years.

He is in a high-end tea shop. It’s full of tea lovers like himself and he finds several good options. But…they are not quite right. He peruses the shop for several more moments until he something catches his eye.

In the corner of the store, next to the large store front window, sits a lovely tea set. White porcelain with blue glazed figures painted on its surface. The familiarity makes his heart seize and his gut twist. He makes a straight line for the set. This…was the one. No matter the price, this was going to be his. Rent be damned.

He is reaching for the set when the door to the store slams open. The racket cause everyone to spin in the direction of the store and Levi is no exemption, his hands pressed against his chest. He was so glad he was not holding that set when that happened.

The image in front of him was something he had only dreamed about. Since that life. And every life after that. He could never find him again. He had found others, but never the one we desired the most. 

But…

The stranger standing in front of him now: hair so golden that is reflects the sun, eyes bluer than the sea, tall, and handsome.

And currently staring at Levi like he saw a ghost. 

The man swallows hard as he lets go of the door so it can finally close. He looks absolutely terrified and his hands clinch together in front of him like in prayer. He takes one step closer to Levi, who dares not to move.

“Levi?” 

That voice. The voice he had forgotten years ago. The one he wished he could hear just one more time.

His own voice was lost in his throat. “E…Erwin?”

Relief. Joy. Happy tears and a shout of utter happiness echoed off the teapots and cups as the man walked forward and wrapped both of his strong arms around his body, lifting Levi off the ground. Levi can’t stand not to hold Erwin’s face in his hands as he kisses him deeply. He does not register the cheers and clapping coming from the other patrons in the store.

The surprise and overwhelming need to just be together makes Levi forget about the tea set as Erwin drags him out of the store.

…

Levi wears one of Erwin’s shirts when he steps out of the bedroom. Erwin is placing a plate of French toast on the table when he steps into the breakfast nook.

“Morning, Love.” He whispers and places a soft kiss to Levi’s lips. Levi holds the waistband of Erwin’s matching sleep pants as he melts into the contact. His veins thrum with happiness.

Erwin breaks the kiss and places one to his forehead. “Tea?”

“Absolutely.” Levi hums, his forehead pressed onto Erwin’s collarbone.

Erwin pushes Levi to sit at the chair with the toast as he prepares the tea. Levi’s hunger is distracted by the spread in front of him so he does not notice until Erwin places the kettle onto the trivet with the matching teacups.

White porcelain. Glazed blue figures, flowers, and small trios of dots in the blank spaces. He gives Levi a knowing smile as he sits across from him and starts to pour both cups. He puts more sugar than necessary into his own cup and Levi can’t help but smile. 

“I hope I made it to your specifications and very discerning taste, Levi. I have been practicing life times for this day.” His voice shakes only little and it makes Levi’s heart race. 

“Happy Birthday, Love.”

Levi stands from his seat and jumps into Erwin’s lap so aggressively that they both topple over. Levi kisses the boo boos away for the rest of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't leave it angsty this time. So some fluff for everyone. 
> 
> I just want them to be happy.

**Author's Note:**

> This originally started as a birthday gift for his birthday week, but I could never finish it. It languished in my WIPs until the Northeast winter storms grounded me. My muse reared it little bastard face after I was stuck for weeks. 
> 
> The use of gold lacquer to repair broken pottery is called Kintsugi. My aunt had a vase that was repaired by a craftsman and it was beautiful. I thought about it when I read that Levi holds his cup in a weird way due to him dropping on of his cups. I figured it would be sweet for Erwin to repair it for him.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
